Cafe Gratitude is a vegan, raw-food only restaurant in San Francisco. Why was I there? I recently reconnected with an old friend from when I lived in NYC, that I hadn't seen in probably 8 years. At the time, he was a high-energy NYC entrepreneur with fancy hair and Armani suits.
He's still high-energy and entrepreneurial, but decided a few years ago to no longer eat meat. Or dairy. Or cooked food. Or wear clothes with color (for reals). And you know what? He's happy and I enjoy going to dinner with him and eating tasty, healthy grub.
I get lots of emails like, "was that you at such-and-such place yesterday?" If you ever see me in person and recognize me, say something. Especially if I'm with a girl. There have been times where that's provided me game. Not that I need additional game. I digress.
I won't be there, but some other AdBriters will. My schedule is here, although looking at it now it's missing AdTech NYC, where I'll be speaking on a panel one of the days.
That was a boring question, boring answer. Sorry..it's Saturday and I didn't feel like tackling any of the questions that require more time. Maybe later today.
I like music and I have free time, money, web design skills, and can write to some degree. So I want to start an online music magazine. And I want to know how to go about getting free shit from record labels like CDs and stuff, and maybe even free tickets or passes or something.
Ya know, something to impress the ladies.
What should I do?
Thanks, Almost Famous
Dear Almost Famous,
Did you ever hear the about the man who asked for a shovel, when really what he really needed was a hole? In your case, you asked me "how to start an online music magazine," when what you really wanted to know is "how do I get free shit from record companies?"
Anyway, it's easier than you think. You don't even need to start an online music magazine. They love giving away free stuff.
Here's what you do. Find an online music magazine you like. Don't choose Rolling Stone or Spin.. choose something a little less noteworthy, but still important enough that a record company would care. Register the "-inc.com" version of their domain name.
For example, my favorite online music magazine is Metal Sludge. If I wanted free stuff from heavy metal record labels, I'd register metalsludge-inc.com. I'd send an email (or call), ask for the PR department, and tell them you're looking to review some new music. Or tell them you're writing a story about something they'd be interested in like "heavy metal bands from Tampa" or whatever they have on roster.
Not only will they send you free music, photos, and bios of your favorite artists, but in many cases they will call you the next time the artist is taking interviews.
And they'll never check the site to see if anyone actually wrote anything.
Oh and how does this impress the ladies? Sorry, but unless you're on stage, or wearing a purple pinstriped suit behind the mixing board, running an online music magazine does not impress women.
I could give you information about how to impress a woman, but you didn't ask.
Is it okay to wash my sneakers in the washing machine? I mean, would it wreck anything? Should I take the laces out? Because they need to be cleaned too.
Thanks, yak sox
Yak,
The best way to clean sneakers is with a toothbrush and toothpaste. It also makes them smell better.
As for your laces, soak them in bleach. Also use bleach on the white parts of your sneakers, including leather, canvas, and rubber parts.
Journalists are usually good writers. And most good writers are intelligent. So, in general, journalists have above-average intelligence.
But rarely are journalists experts in whatever it is they're reporting. So this creates the unfortunate phenomenon where 99% of the articles we read are well-written by smart people, who don't understand what it is they're writing about, or have some other agenda.
Articles in mainstream press usually sound fairly well-researched and authoritative. But if you've ever had an article written about you, or an article written about an event of which you have first-hand knowledge, you know what I mean.
Positive or negative, good or bad, there are always significant inaccuracies. Sometimes the entire article is wrong. Sometimes just a key detail is wrong. Sometimes incorrect assumptions are made. Sometimes important details are missing.
All journalists do it. Many of them have good intentions and do it by mistake because they don't understand something, or because they don't have all the necessary details. But many do it to make articles more interesting -- after all, job #1 is they gotta "sell papers" (or pageviews, and so on).
I've had hundreds of articles written about me and my companies. I've also written thousands of pieces about other companies. So I have an unusual perspective, being both "in front of the camera" as well as "behind" it. I've been fortunate that most of the articles written about me have been positive. Sometimes too positive. I've been quoted as saying really smart-sounding things, where I knew I couldn't have said them, because I didn't know what some of the words in "my" quote meant.
When I started Fuckedcompany.com, some people in the media said I was some sort of an oracle, even though I was always very honest with the fact that 100% of the content on FC was submitted by users. I rewrote their submissions to make them funnier (and admitted i was never a journalist) but I certainly wasn't making any brilliant predictions.
It didn't matter. I remember at one point I was regularly asked to make stock predictions on CNN, Fox News, and other places. I did it a few times but stopped when I realized I contributing to the problem -- I know a lot about a lot of things, but I'm no stock market expert. (or sports...i don't know anything about sports)
But they said on-air that I was an expert.
So the people watching assumed I was an expert.
Another time I acted like a lazy kid for a reporter at USA Today -- so they wrote that I was actually a brilliant businessman. The same week, I acted smart and wore a suit for a CNN interview -- so they said I was some lazy kid acting like a businessman.
Another?
Early this year my current company, AdBrite, received an investment from Sequoia Capital, a high-profile investor with successful investments including Google, Yahoo, Apple, and Oracle. Around the same time, I hired a seasoned CEO to help me run the business.
Those were the two most successful events in my career up to that point. I decided to tell a journalist.
"We raised $8 million," I said. "And a great CEO has joined!"
I went on to say, "AdBrite's initial growth was boostrapped, and the company was profitable, but I decided to raise money so I could invest in people and equipment that will help the company grow even faster."
Things were great.
"Were you forced out for the new CEO?" he asked.
A valid question.
"No," I said. "I retained an executive recruiter on my own, and interviewed many people for the job."
"Did your investors push back?" he asked.
"No, my investors are happy with what I've done with the company and they trust my judgment."
The article? "[Kaplan] has stepped aside as CEO of a small, profitless start-up he founded in 2004. While he said he wasn't forced out, he acknowledged that his board of directors didn't try to dissuade him from stepping down."
Variations of this story showed up all over the place, including the New York Times with a big picture of me looking sad.
So I'm all celebrating AdBrite's growth with our board and employees, while old friends are calling me, "dude, what happened? are you okay? i thought your company was doing great..?"
The reporter was a brilliant writer. He wanted to write a "fuckedcompany guy gets fucked" story, and carefully crafted it so that it said one thing, while implying another.
Most readers were tricked into thinking something bad happened.
Though a few read it carefully and were like, "hmm. sounds like you raised money from Sequoia and hired a CEO. that's good. why is the writer such a douche?"
Of course, if there's one guy who's dished it out, it's me :) So I'm the last to complain... and I've been lucky enough that most of my press has been on the "too positive" side. Ultimately all these experiences make for great stories and a great education.
But I wish everyone could experience these sort of things first-hand, the good and the bad. You'd read things differently.
Big fan, long time reader, first time writer. Several years back you recommended a specific item that would remove scratches from CDs. What's the name of this product that you highly recommended and used regularly?
Thanks, Hunter
Hunter,
What is this, 2003? "I want to listen to CDs."
Anyway, you're asking about the Skipdoctor CD Repair Kit. But what you really need is AllTunes (click "English Version" in the upper-right corner). At around 10-cents per song, it's cheaper to rebuy all your music on MP3 than to rip it off your CDs, scratched or otherwise.
I've been married for 17 years, and the relationship has deteriorated over the last 4-5 years. We loved each other once upon a time. Now all I can think about is being single. I'm not looking to hook up with anyone else. I just want to be by myself. We don't have any kids. Is this a midlife crisis, or do I need to move on with my life?
Signed, Stuck in New York
Dear Stuck in New York,
No kids, so you have a girlfriend, not a wife. How do I know you're a man? Let's just say I don't get a lot of 40+ women writing me that they want to be suddenly single.
Consider yourself lucky. But be scared too. Why? You'll find the true meaning of "grass is always greener on the other side. "
You'll get divorced, and you'll be a wreck.
But you'll also be getting non-committal sex from women half your age, and a new sense of passion.
And there's nothing like coming home from the office, kicking off your shoes, and knowing that you own your life.
Do you have any picture of yourself smoking your pipe?
Thanks, Briarman
Readers,
A few months ago I posted a nonsense clip on YouTube of me smoking a pipe. Since then, it's been viewed more than 1,000 times. I've gotten countless emails from seemingly normal people saying, "nice pipe video!" I've since found that there are hundreds of strangely homoerotic (maybe just to me?) videos of dudes smoking pipes on YouTube.
I'm not saying it's gay. But yeah, pretty sure I've stumbled into some strange gay subculture that I previously knew nothing about. But they seem pretty nice & normal otherwise. I spose I'm flattered. Will investigate further.
they’re playing this Wednesday and Thursday, 2 blocks from my office, so i could just walk over after work. the show is sold out but tickets on stubhub are $40.
i don’t even know who’s in GNR these days. and sadly, i don’t care that much.
I recently posted a short blog entry about a new heavy metal band called Dragonforce. One of the anonymous comments was, "I am glad I do not listen to the radio or buy music anymore. If this is 'all the rage,' then the great music has already been written and I own all of it."
Clever, but at what point in a man's life does he decide that all new music sucks?
I still find new music I like.
But now that I think about it, yeah, it's fewer and farther between.
So I dig.
I spose when I get tired of digging, I'll understand.
Pud is an expert in many things including money, sex, business, arts, music, food, fashion, technology, nightlife, travel -- almost everything except sports.
