Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Bleet
Dear Pud,
I've been making love to my neighbor's goat for the past five years. By some act of God I've recently managed to get a real girlfriend. Should I end it with with Dave (the goat), or try and get some three-way love going?
Big M.
Big M.,
I applaud your commitment to your newfound love, and your desire not to cheat on her. However, though largely frowned upon by modern society (and your new girlfriend), it's not technically cheating if you engage with another species.
There's only one way to keep the girl while not depriving yourself of man-goat love. It does unfortunately involve bidding adieu to Dave (the goat), but face it, he had a nice personality but other goats are just as supple.
Anyway, your girlfriend is always nagging you to mow the lawn. Tell her you've done the research (don't tell her it was on Ask Pud) and a goat in the backyard would not only be a cute pet, but it would feed on the grass, keeping it nice and short.
She'll thank you, and you'll have a new goatfriend.
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