Monday, December 11, 2006
Gay brother
Dear Pud,
I'd recently heard some rumors about my little brother being gay. So over the weekend I asked him. He came out and told me he was. Apparently he's also come out to our sister. We come from a very conservative Asian family, and I know it won't go over well with my parents.
I still feel like I'm dreaming. I'm not sure if I'm disappointed, or just sad about how much more difficult his life will be in society because he's gay.
A little background on my brother -- he was voted best all-around in junior high and high school, was an "A" student, and is currently attending a top university. He does not display stereotypically "gay traits."
I asked him how he knows he is gay. He replied he just knew; yet admitted he had never had sex with a woman. How would he know he doesn't like women if he's never been with a woman sexually?
Sorry if this question is poorly written, I haven't had much sleep since I found out.
Help.
Thanks,
Wyatt
30 years old
Los Angeles, CA
Wyatt,
Your brother is a lucky man. It's much better to be gay than straight.
Especially in his case.
The people he hangs out (gay or not) are much more open, honest, and enlightened than most people, including his own family. He's seen prejudice, which makes him more tolerant. And most of all, a gay man can get laid instantly, whenever he wants.
How does he know he's gay, even if he's never tried sex with a woman? The same way you know you're hetero.
He doesn't display stereotypically "gay traits?" Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. You don't know anything about him, he's been hiding his entire life from you.
As for life being hard for him...dude -- life is only hard for him around the people he didn't choose to be with -- his family. Everyone else in his life is aweosme. Maybe a little drama-queeny, but awesome. The life of a gay man is easy street. Most people these days don't care, and the gay community is big enough he'll make plenty of friends and likely have a better life than you.
(he'll certainly get laid more)
As for the conservative Asian family, this is true -- they will not take well to it. Make sure you and your sister support him and tell him he's cool.
Pud
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