Saturday, November 18, 2006
Holding out
Pud,
Up to this point in my adult life, when starting a new relationship I've always been a "do it when it feels right" kind of girl.
Sometimes this means sex on the first date, other times its after a few weeks.
Do guys really respect a girl more who makes them wait? And how long is an appropriate amout of time?
Thanks,
Lover Girl
Dear Lover Girl,
Respect has nothing to do with it.
There has never been a case in history where a woman "holding out" made the difference between a guy wanting a serious relationship or not. He knows right away whether he wants a relationship with you or not -- but either way he wants to have sex with you as soon as possible.
The reason women think that guys respect them more if they wait, is so it hurts less when they're tossed aside. If you've known the guy 2 days, you feel dirty. If you've known him 2 months, you can tell yourself "the relationship didn't work out."
In fact, if a guy really likes you and is interested in a relationship, he will like you MORE knowing that you're a dirty girl who likes to do it with strange guys (or at least him) you've just met. That's hot and exciting.
The optimal time is upon the first make-out session that occurs privately near a bed or couch. Since the first date usually takes place in a restaurant or bar, it won't happen then. Second or third date is optimal.
Rock on,
Pud
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